do you miss home?

A lot of people have been asking me this question lately. I guess with the flux of new interns or full-timers arriving and friends/family who have come to visit me, it's not that rare of a question. I usally ask in return, "Home? what do you mean?" and they would say "Toronto". Well, of course I miss Toronto! But I also miss Calgary and Hong Kong and I even miss Trinidad. I feel a sense of displacement sometimes because I've called many places "home" and knowing me, there are probably many more places to come.

Do I miss my friends&family in Toronto? Of course I do! But I miss them as much as friends in Calgary and friends who have just left Seattle... My family will always be my family. My friends will always be near and dear to my heart but I've learned to let go of the people I care about. I need to give them up to God because ultimately, they don't belong to me, they belong to Him. This hasn't always been easy for me to do. While I'm good with letting go of things, I have a really hard time letting go of people. I have an even harder time letting go of myself but that's another blog for another day. My Provider has surrounded me with amazing community everywhere I've been so every time I have to detach myself from people, I feel a piece of me being pulled away. It hurts.

Some people have plans to eventually move back to where their families are. I don't. A lot of people miss home because they have a strong attachment to their family - their parents and siblings. I don't. I love my family. I had a really hard time leaving tiny-o behind, I still do. But Christ has called me to take up my cross daily and follow Him, to deny myself and all that I love to be worthy of his calling. Seattle is where He has led me and it is where I followed Him to. I don't know if He has another place in mind for me. I don't know how many more times I will have to say goodbye and move. That is why I must be ready and willing to pick up and go whenever He calls and wherever He leads. It's hard and it will hurt but it's a path I'm willing to walk down for the glory of my King.

Still another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good bye to my family."
Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." (Luke 9:61-62)

I want to be fit.