Moving on...

In the midst of the craziness, the laughter, the excitiment, the joyful songs at CCF tonight, I found myself in a sobering moment... I stood in the far back corner of the room, watching the fellowship join in one heart to praise our Almighty God. Usually I would be at the front, leading worship, leading a program or just being in the front because no one wanted to be. Tonight, I wanted to stand back.

As I watched, I felt a tug in my heart, a feeling of holding back tears - joyful tears. Perhaps not that extreme. I wasn't moved to tears but if I was that type of girl, I might have. If I was a parent, it would be the proud feeling of watching your child move away to university, the feeling that they were leaving but you know they were going to be alright. It was the same feeling that I felt many years ago when I taught my younger sister how to ride a bike. The feeling of after many, MANY attempts, when I finally let go of the bicycle seat and watched her ride off down the street for the first time on her own, without help, without my help. I knew she was going to be just fine.

It has been 4 long and tough years, often stressful and frustrating but now looking back, worth every second of it. Perhaps it was because tonight was Elections night. The night where we would decide as a fellowship who will step-up to God's call and continue his vision for CCF. Perhaps it was also knowing that I am almost done. Almost done the task that God set before me 4 years ago when I first stepped into CCF. The night he told me why he led me to Ryerson. I looked at the group and smiled. They're going to be just fine. I'm proud of the people who have stepped up to leadership, the people who's passion for Christ has lited up the entire fellowship these past few years. I can let go now. But I think all in all, the feeling really came from knowing that none of this was my doing. To know that despite my failures, my selfishness, my blindness, God's will was done and after I'm long gone, His work will still continue on...

That makes me smile.

I will miss you CCF... but I'm also glad to be leaving... after all these years, I need a vacation!