tiny-o

why do they tell me to go to class and then cancel it last minute? Why do I even bother waking up on mondays...

haha, my little sis just called me from her school. She left her lunch at home... the secretary asked me if it was okay for her to come home. NO! it's not okay! haha. Why would they ask that? Why would it not be okay for her to come home and get her lunch?! NO, she has to stay at school and starve!! haha. I found that really funny...

My little sis is running for student council at her elementary school. I guess I have a bigger influence on her than I had imagined. I pray she doesn't pick up my bad traits though. Little sisters are fun. I've never blogged on her before, I'll do that today.

What is she like? I dunno, she's a weird kid. She's only 13. I think she's a good mixture of my older sister and I. My older sister, Big-O, loves pink, I love navy blue so our little sis (umm... i guess she would be tiny-o! haha) likes baby blue! haha. She's pretty much raised like an only child. Big-O and I are never around. Some people are happy being an only child but tiny-o always wishes she had a younger brother or sister. I guess she sees pictures of Big-O and I as a kid and how we did everything together and wants to have someone around to play with. Despite my outward annoyance, I try to take tiny-o with me when I go hang out with friends so she's not stuck at home. And my friends enjoyed having her around, she was cute and said cute things (I didn't think so but of course no older sisters ever think their kid sister is cute). I think that's why she loves my friends so much and even hangs out with them when I'm not there!

Sometimes I feel really bad for her. Since she's the only one home, my parents tend to take things out on her. People are always yelling at her. And poor girl doesn't know how to rebel or talk back, she's too good! blech...that's definitely something she didn't learn from me. A few weeks ago, I found her softly crying on her bed because my dad yelled at her for no good reason. Poor girl... I gave her a hug and tried to explain my dad's tantrums. Sometimes, I'm more of a mom to her than our mom. I try to teach her and raise her so she won't grow up with the criticism and the cliches that I grew up with from my parents. I don't know if it's just Chinese parents, but they tend to criticize you and put you down a lot. Telling you that 95% is not good enough. It's also a given that they'll cram as much lessons into your life as possible. Last week, my mom wanted me to go on-line and sign tiny-o up for a leadership course AND swimming class on the same night, one right after the other. I said, NO! I refused to do it or let her do that to tiny-o (whew, I saved her from another one). Poor girl already stays up till midnight doing her school homework. I swear, at this rate, she's going to have a mental breakdown before she reaches 16. Of course, it takes her that long to do homework because tiny-o is a dreamer. She's always day-dreaming about something. She does her 1-hour homework in 4 hours because her mind always wonders off.

Sometimes, I'm really scared that I have too much control over her and that I'm molding her into someone I want her to be and not someone God wants her to be. I even catch myself saying things my parents said to me! AHH! shoot me now!! At pivitol points like that, I step back and tell tiny-o to just do what she wants and go pray.

I'm really excited to see how she's going to turn out and what God has in stored for her. Although, I'm not looking forward to her up-coming high school years. I can imagine what my parents must have felt when I entered high school... the worries, the anxieties... yikes! I hope I'm not around to witness tiny-o's high school years. I know I'm going to turn into my parents and I rather get a million paper cuts then do that!!