trying to be still...

It's been almost a month since my last blog. A lot of drama has happened since then. Moving apartments have turned out to be more complicated than expected. In fact, I still haven't completely moved in yet because the old roommate hasn't moved out... all my stuff is in the living room, as well as stored in various friend's homes across the city. If my life is my belongings, my life would be very scattered and divided right now. But of course, my life is not my furniture or clothes or books, so I'm still hanging in there and holding together.

Despite all the chaos, God continues to pursue me and reveal more of himself to me. I've learned a lot about trusting in him. In the past, I've constantly reminded myself during chaotic times that God will work things out for me in the end and they always do. Eventually. Recently I've learned that this is a very selfish trust of my heavenly Father. It's still all about me, how God can meet my needs, how I need him to work things out for ME. That's not fully trusting God because I have a set idea of what the outcome should be and I try to fit God into my outcome. Trusting God should be trusting that God is GOD and that he's the one with the ultimate outcome. Whether things "work out" for me or not should not matter. What matters is that I trust God to make happen what needs to happen in order for HIS will to be completed.

Life is a little up in the air right now, I don't know when I'll be moved in. I don't know exactly when I will have a bed to sleep on instead of people's futons. But I trust that God has made all this happen for his glory, that I may find him and come to him. To be still and know that He is GOD.

I'm so thankful for all the friends who helped me pack, move and clean! all the friends who are praying for this whole situation, all the friends who have taken my things in. I thank God for the understanding leasing manager at my old apartment for letting me stay a few days extra after my lease terminated. I'm thankful for my coworker who came along w/ his truck to move my bed. I'm thankful for my new roommate who has had to put up with and is still putting up with, all the mess in her apartment!

I'm also extremely thankful and grateful and can't stop smiling about my new RAISE at work!!! Having worked here for only 7 months, I feel quite accomplished. I have nothing to complain about at work now =D Except I can't really talk about it and celebrate it with my friends here cuz one of my coworkers is in my circle of friends and we're not suppose to talk about it with our coworkers... doh!